A Note to Katie Holmes

Well, Katie, we all told you to run screaming in the other direction about 5 years ago, but you were in love, and you decided to follow your heart. Or at least you decided to marry the guy who had fathered your child and who was one of the biggest movie stars alive.

What the heck, you did get motherhood out of the deal, although I’m not sure it’s something you actually wanted. Plus, you’ve really delighted us proponents of anti-depression medication, and those of us who don’t know The History of Psychiatry (although your ex-husband thinks he does).

And you were notably brilliant, the way you left him. He had no idea you were filing for divorce, and you just changed your phones, bought an apartment, filed the papers, secured your daughter in your arms, and made sure he found out about it while he was filming a movie on the other side of the globe.

(Women don’t generally leave men in this manner unless they are being abused. Sure seems like she was afraid of something—if nothing else, of not being able to get out.)

When we learned that your ex-husband was completely surprised at the sudden end of his marriage, I smiled a little. The situation offers a delicious little bite of schadenfreude and a big gulp of irony. Years ago, he did the same thing to Nicole Kidman, who had just suffered a miscarriage, and when Kidman admitted she was shocked and hurt, desperately asking why he left her, her movie star husband offered this cold explanation to the public:  “Nicole knows.”

Maybe Tom really doesn’t know why you left him. My own guess is that you got to know his bad temper and didn’t want to be around it. (Remember how angry he got at a seemingly innocuous Matt Lauer?) I would also guess that you suggested therapy and marriage help early on, but he insisted that no help was needed. All was well. Typical guy, huh.

At any rate, Katie, I apologize for thinking you were a lovesick little girl who couldn’t think for herself. I can see now that you are going to be just fine.

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