Coffee Should Not Be “Mello”


Last week, I brewed this package of coffee (see above) in the hotel room I stayed in for an overnight at work. It’s a good thing I’m a morning person, because I was able to chuckle at the ineptitude of whoever it is that makes decisions about what coffee products to provide in hotel rooms:

  • Coffee should not be “mello.” I don’t want a “mello” cup of coffee; I want a cup of coffee in the morning that makes me say “YAHOO!” It should be thick, dark, and rich.
  • Coffee should not be translucent or transparent.
  • “Mello” should be spelled “mellow.” I truly don’t think it improves anyone’s perception of coffee if it’s “Mello-Cup” versus “Mellow Cup.” What, do they want it to seem cheap?
  • Unless you go to an upscale hotel, most hotels don’t offer liquid creamer. They give you a little packet of white powder that you have to stir into the coffee (with a horrible plastic straw, often in a polluting styrofoam cup), and it makes the coffee feel gritty. I’ve been to just a couple of hotels that provide the little nondairy liquid containers, just enough for a cup of coffee or two. They don’t need to be refrigerated, and they constitute a VAST improvement over the powdery kind.

A few other thoughts about coffee:

  • The promise of a good hot, creamy cup of coffee (with non-fat creamer) is often what gets me up in the morning. It’s a socially acceptable addiction and does not affect my ability to drive a car or make decisions properly.
  • When my dad was in an alcohol treatment center a few years ago, he was absolutely amazed that the patients in the center were allowed to smoke as many cigarettes as they wanted, but they were not allowed to drink coffee. I suppose there was a very good reason for this—and the treatment helped my dad greatly—but it was hard not to empathize with him on that account. Can anyone explain this?
  • I do not like flavored coffees. Keep the Irish Cream and the Hazelnut and the Pumpkin Spice away from me. Just give me a nice dark French Roast and I’m happy.
  • There are 2 coffee shops in the little town I work in. Neither of them has good coffee. (They sell tasteless, dry sandwiches, too.)
  • I have never been interested in soda (pop). I don’t like sweet drinks, they’re too cold, they don’t quench my thirst, and the carbonation burns my throat. Coffee has a lovely bitterness to it, and it’s warm and smooth. And the way I drink it, it has a lot fewer calories than soda. Hardly any, in fact.
  • When I miss my morning coffee (e.g., if I stay overnight at someone’s house and they don’t drink coffee), I don’t get a headache or, as far as I know, experience caffeine withdrawal. I just wish I had a cup of coffee.
  • I miss my friend Beth from my last job, who loved coffee as much as I do. Sometimes she would call me around 9:30 AM (we worked in different offices) and she’d be on her second or third cup of coffee. She’d say dreamily, “oh, just a few more sips and I’m going to have that wonderful sick feeling.” We would laugh. That’s the feeling when you’ve had enough coffee for the day.
  • When I was in high school, I worked at a diner in my small town. A group of women came in for coffee and gossip every Saturday morning. They kept me busy refilling their cups for hours. Then they’d each leave me a dime for a tip. (And this was the 1980s, not the 1940s!)

It’s 10:17, I’m done with my morning coffee, and now it’s time to start looking forward to lunch!

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One Response to Coffee Should Not Be “Mello”

  1. Alyssa says:

    Fabulous post. I love reading your thoughts/experiences with coffee. When I went off caffeine, I had a horrible time of it–headaches, irritation, the whole bit.

    And you’re right. Mello should be spelled mellow.

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