“At the moment of commitment, the universe conspires with you!” – Goethe
Back to the underground. Today my boss is out of the office, but another boss and employee are in the office and they are having a meeting that I can sort of overhear. (I’m not eavesdropping; I’m right next to the room they’re in and the door is wide open.) The great thing about the meeting is, the boss is asking his “report” about what types of projects he likes to work on and what they can do in future planning to make sure that the employee enjoys his work and is motivated.
It’s the exact opposite of what I have at the very same company, because I have a boss who, despite her being a very nice human being, just doesn’t care about my professional development. We like to fly by the seat of our pants in this department.
Unfortunately, I am a Planner. I like to know what I’m going to be doing and where I’m going. That’s a real weakness in this job, because for the most part, I am expected to show up for work, do whatever needs to be done–or do nothing, if that’s what needs to be done–and just be ready for whatever it is. It’s a cockeyed way of doing things–always turning in this direction, then that, then another. I guess I wouldn’t have so much of a problem with this if I were busy or felt I was contributing to the organization. I can wing it if necessary, but only if I’m occupied. I do not enjoy surfing all day long or trying to find ways to keep myself busy. It’s a very unsatisfying activity.
I do have a flyer to design and I’m working on that, but I’m not GOOD at it, so it’s a struggle. I don’t have any sense that I’m doing something that I actually bring value to. And even when I figure this out, I probably won’t do anything like this again for 6 months, so I’ll have to relearn the entire process again at that point. It’s frustrating.
Anyway, I’m trying to feel the force of the universe behind me as I make my way, and enjoy this time. I’m well aware that if I measured my work problems against most other people’s work problems, I’d most likely choose to keep my own. Somehow that’s not an uplifting thought today.
I was feeling like this blog was helping me think out ways to improve my work experience here and figure out what I want to do next. . . but today, it’s just become a place to register my complaints.