On Gratefulness

Another day at my boring job. The good thing is, I had some work to do the last couple of days, so I’m not feeling as disgusted or frustrated as usual.

I read somewhere that being grateful is a good way to avoid grumbling about a situation that’s not perfect–i.e., think of all the things you’re grateful for, and you won’t feel so sorry for yourself at your mind-numbing job. I’ve been doing this all along, and even have a written list of good things in my life. Somehow, after 8 months of all my senses being dulled sitting at this desk, even gratefulness isn’t very sustaining. Sort of like a nice fluffy pillow that gradually flattens out and provides little or no neck support.

Is there a way to fluff it back up when I have no room to move? Since there’s little-to-no flexibility at this job, and since no new work is coming, I don’t see it. This means that I really do need to move on.

As much as I want to get out of here and move on to something where I feel productive, I also find the situation difficult to swallow. Job hunting is unpleasant, and if I ever get an interview I’ll have to lie to my current employer by being “sick” or having “car problems” or whatever. But I need to cowgirl up and just figure this out.

Might I just add, fully grateful to have something interesting to talk about, that our Fedex guy is just a lovely looking man. I’m happy he’s “my” Fedex guy.

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